February 23, 2010

When women withdraw

Posted in Hard times, Keeping the balance, Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , at 8:16 am by purelypoetry

Are you ready to find out why women do what they do? Here it is…..

When a women is in a relationship, she needs to feel loved. When she does not have the reassurance she needs, she has two choices. She can step forward, Showering her lover with affection in all the ways she knows how. Trying her best to satisfy his every need, in hopes that in doing so, he will find her kindness irresistible and return her love, meeting her needs, once again. Or….She can withdraw herself from him to shield herself from the pain that he is causing her or the pain he may cause her. When this happens, she is not responsive, She is not attentive as she could be or even at all. She does not pick up the phone as often. She doesn’t respond to text messages as often. She suddenly becomes busier, her schedule no longer revolves around him. She is more aloof and less loving with her choice of words. In some cases, she may even withdraw sexually. This is a natural response. when a woman is choosing to be responsive to a man, she is also choosing to put herself in a position of vulnerability. How can a woman be vulnerable with someone who does not meet her emotional needs? Like the love bank, how can she make deposits if there is nothing to give?  Do not underestimate the seriousness of this situation. If your lady has withdrawn, she will drift farther and farther until she has shut off from you completely.  If you value your relationship, you cannot leave a withdrawn woman untended and neglected, because,  before you even know what is going on, she will have reached the point of no return and she will be gone. The heart can only take so much.   As the man, you are the leader of the relationship. You are in charge of where it goes, and she can choose to go with you, or not, but you must be the leader and initiate. It starts with you. The man (male energy) in the relationship must give first, in order for her to respond. If she is interested, she will respond appropriately to what he has offered. Depending on her level of hurt and your level of effort shown, she may not be able to respond immediately. Damage cannot always be undone with the first healing action. The woman needs to feel loved before she can give back. In other words, you get what you give. So, if you want your woman to be responsive to you in any way, do what you need to do to make her feel loved. If you don’t know what to do, ask. She will appreciate your conscious effort to make her happy.



  1. searchme27 said,

    even though you make a good point, but we women have to understand that man don’t really think, so if you don’t tell them what is going on, then some of them will assumed that everything is ok, so in a realationship there has to be communications on both parts. We need to help the men, they are just slow. lol

    • guide4goofs said,

      Yes, you are right. Communication is a vital component in a relationship. Both parties need to communicate their thoughts and feelings to avoid problems. My blog is more geared toward giving a heads up to the male energy in a relationship, so I didn’t cover the fact that women need to tell their mates what it is they need from them. Thank you for your comment, I think I will cover communication in my next post:)

  2. Jessica said,

    love it. i enjoyed reading this.

  3. Jessica said,

    Really enjoyed reading this.

  4. marryright said,

    Hey, guide4goofs, this is a great one. A few weeks ago, my wife started exhibiting the withdrawal syndrome matching the ones you described. Our communication became stiff. At a point I was afraid we were heading for the rocks. Then, it clicked! She was reacting to my own carelessness in showing her love and affection. I worked on myself and decided to repent. I am surprised at the change I have enjoyed in our relationship in the last one week as I decided to show her love and affection. Her response astounded me and we are in love again.

    It is interesting how these simple things make or mar our love life and peace and joy. Thank you for a great post.


  5. Tiffany said,

    Wow. This is what I am going through right now with my boyfriend. Great article

  6. KK said,

    Great article. Can you offer the opposite point of view? Why do men withdraw?

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