What happiness awaits…

August 5, 2010

What happiness awaits…

And when its good, it feels so good….and when its bad, it feels so bad.

I realized it, in a moments time, and I wished I had continued on my merry way, without noticing at all.

Outside I was tranquil, but inside…a storm was building.

I Looked at the large, square cuts of glass which fit so nicely in their little nooks in this table before me.

I thought about how nice it would be to pick them up, just to throw them down and watch them shatter across the cold marble floor.

Millions of pieces of glass, cascading across the  tile in a sort of  dance, seen by none but me. Imagine a recording of this event. Turn off the sound, slow it down and just watch it. A touch of classical music would do the trick.  Now you have a picture, that is actually quite relaxing. Especially if you are the one who has just created it.

As tranquil as watching snowflakes fall from the sky to the ground, but with the added element of  passion.

Can you relate? If you have ever been in love, I am sure you can. If you have really loved, that is.  Anger and love are two sides of the same coin. If you cannot allow yourself to experience great anger, then you will never know great love. The ones whom you love like no other, will be the same ones that will cause you to be enraged with anger like never before. But if you repress your emotions and cannot allow your emotions to flow naturally, as they are meant to, you will never experience great emotion, like great love.  Anger is necessary to experience great love and so it is with many other emotions. We are taught in this society to repress our emotions, and so many of us think that we simply don’t have them. You hear people say “I am not an emotional person”  Every person is born full of emotion.  But they grow to think they have none because they have repressed their emotion for as long as they can remember, and once they realize how much is bottled up inside, they are actually afraid of what would happen if they released it. Repression is not being true to yourself and leads to depression and sadness. I can sense when someone is not being true to themselves and I am sure others sense it too. Be true to yourself and allow yourself to experience the emotions that come naturally to you.  Allow yourself to be expressive and a whole new world will open up to you.

I suppose that I let my emotions get the best of me a lot of the time. I feel as though I am perhaps held captive, by my emotions. They can cloud the mind. They can make you think so much differently than you would, if not for their presence.  At times this is good, and at times, I wish I could be free of them. It is not always pleasant. It is in fact feels like torment, at times. In a way, it would be nice to be free of emotion forever, but what an empty life that would be. and what would you be willing to give to another, any other, if u had no emotion toward them? the answer is, not much. So, we realize that we must, indeed, take a leap for the greater good, and to reach our own ultimate satisfaction. Eventually, we find a safe place, and our sappy emotions will benefit us. Because we are capable of so much more, when our hearts are in it. Until then, love is a roller coaster, and I don’t want to ride, but I cannot deprive myself of the happiness that awaits me at the end of this journey.

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